SHARING THE TREASURES OF PRISTINE ISLAM: A PERISCOPE ON THE ISLAMIC FAMILY LIFE

A PERISCOPE ON THE ISLAMIC FAMILY LIFE

Compiled by: Sayyidah Bilqees Grillo

#AL-KANZ LECTURE SERIES

Ausu billahi mina shaytani rajeem.

Bismillahi Rahmanir Raheem.

Wa salatu wa salaamu ala ashraafil Mursaleen Sayyidina wa Maolana Muhammad, SAW, wa ala ahlihi wa asiabihi wasallama tasliman.

As Salaam alaykum to you all.

I seek refuge in Allah from the wrath of the accursed satan.

In the Name of Allah the Most Compassionate, the Most Merciful. May the Peace and Infinite Blessings of Allah be upon our Leader and Role-Model, our Prophet of Mercy, Sayyidina Muhammad. May this Peace extend to his Household and companions and to all of us here present in this auspicious gathering, ruminating on this message centering on the Islamic Family life. amin.

AlhamduLillah for the gift of Islam in our lives. We thank Him that he made us not just Muslins but conscious, pious ones. We appreciate Him for planting our feet firmly on the Straight Path.

In this discourse, we invite our intellect to ponder on the Islamic family life. How has it fared in our current contemporary society? How has it been discharging its God-given roles? What kind of product in terms of offsprings has the average Muslim family setting been producing? How well has the Islamic family impacted on the society and how much of the societal impacts, pressures and situations both positive and negative have rubbed on the fabric, ideology, principles and standards of the Muslim family unit in every home in Nigeria?

No doubt the cradle of human existence, nurturing, development and overall well-being finds its root and foundation in the family unit. It is the family units that branch out to produce the larger society comprising of the diverse nomenclature of the ruling class and the ruled. Hence when a society is seen as being egalitarian, progressive and dynamic, it is because its sub-units comprising the individual family settings made up of the parents, children and wards are sound, cohesive, affable and unified. It is because the family units imbibe positive values and traits that makes them God-conscious and responsible. It is because such family units are founded on the foundation of equity, love, consideration and apathy to one another.

Coming to our Deen al Islam, a religion that is founded on Piety, Peace and Love under the guidance of the Best of Mankind, our Master Muhammad SAW, the subject of the Family Life holds a very central place in our entire lives as Muslims and Believers, because it is what acts as the compass which directs the way we act and react to all issues of life, both at home and national front. Hence, when the Islamic family unit is sound and pure, it contributes a positive value to the central society. This becomes evident in the way a Muslim views responsibilities and work, and also how it interfaces with others who are also from diverse family units when they come together under other official nomenclatures such as Offices, Assembly, Marketplace, Schools or Other Institutions. A Muslim is naturally endowed with positive values as a follower of a true and upright religion, and most of these values are imbibed into him from his early childhood and early formative years. So he grows up naturally with these values which help to mould him into a pious, responsible, dedicated, industrious, honest and contented young personality. This is because the religion of Islam is a Divine Creed which is made for Man by the Creator and Architect of Man, and which provides for a balanced spiritual, physical and moral growth and development of the human kind through its establishment of a template which encompasses very high ethical values and standards. Hence, a Muslim born and raised within the ambit of the Islamic Family Life system and methodology in Nigeria naturally becomes an embodiment of high-ranking ethics and values which is apparent in the way a Muslim walks, talks, relates, acts or deal with others. The peaceful atmosphere surrounding a Muslim personality permeates his entire environment and when he is engaged with others in outside places such as school, work-place, office or other formal or informal gatherings, his behavior, attitudes, demeanor and poise are congenial, trusting, amiable and entirely peaceful drawing from the values the Deen had inculcated in him and which had formed his personality. This is the way the Muslims in different geographical, tribal or cultural settings within our dear country, Nigeria have always been brought up in the past. This is why a Muslim fits into any grouping he finds himself. This is why a Muslim works amicably with any Non-Muslims or any other tribes or nationalities. This is why Muslims leave indelible marks on the annals of history wherever they are appointed, elected or selected to carry out National assignments. This is why there was real progress in the Society.

However, so many factors have crept into the Societal Value Systems and Standards. So many unwholesome phenomena had threatened to disrupt the amity or the peaceful balance. The family units both Islamic and Non-Islamic have been challenged with a lot of worrisome issues within the society. The fabric of the Islamic Family life is under serious threat and failure to pragmatically address these challenges may cause irreparable losses to us all as a Nation.

In the past two or more decades to date, the focus of the family unit have shifted from its divinely-ordained role to that being dictated by the happenings within the Nigerian social and economic environment. Hitherto the father sees himself as the Chief of the family who is tasked with the responsibilities of providing spiritual direction by leading his family in the fajr prayers and giving admonitions and advices. In addition he also undertakes the search outside the home formaterial comforts for his wife , children and other dependants living with him according to his capacity. In the same manner, the mother sees herself as the Chief of the Interior, the operating director of the domestic affairs within the home comprising majorly of training the children spiritually and morally in their early formative years within her ambit in the home environment, making the family follow her ideals and examples, fortify in them the spirit of industry, honesty and respectable dispositions. This is in addition to placing nutritious meals on the table for the entire family as well as seeing to the religious rituals of the family when the husband goes to work. In that time she spends no less than eight hours nurturing her home and ensuring the children are exposed to the Islamic school for Quranic studies and ethics. At that time, she regards these tasks as the primary while she flexes her time to undertake secondary tasks which brings in some economic benefits to her during her free time after ensuring that her family are comfortable. At that time, the Man in the House appreciates the values of his wife’s time and her ingenuity and home-training prowess, and he demonstrates this by being home early to further support her efforts at training the children and leading the entire family as a good shepherd to the way of Allah SWT. He dotes on her and takes good care of her material needs. She on the other hand was also appreciative, respectful, obedient, sincere, loving and God-fearing. No wonder, such a home produces for the Society the best breed of Muslim children.

Nowadays, all things have fallen apart. The fabric of the home is almost torn apart. The father has become more materialistic thanks to his substitution of the law and decree of the Divine to that which is man-made. He has become more attached to the western ideologies, forsaken the most part of the Islamic ethical guidelines, been less contented with little, been more greedy for more of the material of this duniya, been less responsible to the care and proper nurturing of his home, been more interested in staying all his major hours outside the home, been more lured by the glitters of the outside and the peer pressure of his colleagues on the economic side. He is more reckless in amassing wealth and it does not matter whether this is legal or illicit; he pretends to foreget the watchful Eye of the Lord, the fact of the reality of the after-life and of judgement. He wants to explore the world at all cost. This makes him become another faceless, pitiless, careless and reckless human being who can no longer be trusted with financial responsibilities, who cannot be seen as trustees of people’s wealth, or of sensitive government positions, who are bent on using National resources for their selfish and personal gains. He thinks wrongly that material things can bring in happiness to him and his family. He forgets that real happiness has nothing to do with money; money is just a messenger which can be used to enhance or mortgage one’s happiness. With a man who acts this way as the head of the family, where except ruin can he shepherd his flock? Where is the family heading to if not loss in this world and the next?

How about the mother? How has she fared? Instead of exhorting the husband to patience in hard times and to truth in National assignments and outside representations, the reverse is the case. Instead of encouraging in her husband the spirit of justice, fairness and equity in all life affairs, she prefers to lead him away from such virtues as an advisor to the man. Rather than lead the husband in conduct and dispositions to acts of piety in service and devotion to Allah SWT, she has become the chief detractor of the husband through her spirit of greed, undue rivalry with other women neighbours or colleagues. She has become the one to goad her husband on the ‘go and bring more…’ syndromes: more money, more positions, more material goods, more cars, more this, more that; her sense of greed grows by the day in leaps and bounds. In addition, she feels so discontented with the little or much her husbands provides that she jumps at every opportunity to leave home and abandon her precious children in the quest for money! She is no longer interested in training her child on her lap, the housemaids and crèche will do that! She cannot allow her children mix with the other children in Madrassah, that is to her, backwardness! She is not at home to cater for the material needs of her husband and give him the much-needed emotional support; that is no longer her duty. So her children become strangers to her and to their father because none spends time again with them. Where is the mother to teach the child the virtues of honesty, perseverance, courage, empathy? Where is the mother to lead by her noble examples?

So the Islamic Family Life keeps failing in its role of contributing pure breed of Faithfuls into the centre. No wonder most of the current breeds of people in position are fraudsters, looters, pen-robbers, embezzlers, fornicators and thieves. No wonder the Muslims are not left out. No wonder the Nigerian society is facing untold hardships. No wonder the poor masses’ sufferings are on the increase day in, day out! Ya Allah! What has the Islamic Family Life become? The Qur’an says in: Surah Al-Hashr (الحشْر), verses: 18-19

Surah Al-Hashr (الحشْر), verses: 18-19

يأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ ٱتَّقُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ وَلْتَنظُرْ نَفْسٌ مَّا قَدَّمَتْ لِغَدٍ وَٱتَّقُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ خَبِيرٌۢ بِمَا تَعْمَلُونَ

O you who believe! Fear Allah and keep your duty to Him. And let every person look to what he has sent forth for the morrow, and fear Allah. Verily, Allah is All-Aware of what you do.

وَلَا تَكُونُوا۟ كَٱلَّذِينَ نَسُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ فَأَنسَىٰهُمْ أَنفُسَهُمْ أُو۟لَٰٓئِكَ هُمُ ٱلْفَٰسِقُونَ

And be not like those who forgot Allah (i.e. became disobedient to Allah) and He caused them to forget their ownselves, (let them to forget to do righteous deeds). Those are the Fasiqun (rebellious, disobedient to Allah).

Unless we all return to Allah, unless we re-evaluate our value system and go back to those ordained by Allah, unless we stem our feelings of greed and materialism, unless we repent sincerely to Allah and make honest resolutions to change for the better, unless we go back to creating time to train our children, we may not easily see an end to our troubles. We are under a serious moral decadency threat. We need a strong will to return to The Straight Path. We need to eschew hypocrisy in our worship obligations and serve Allah truthfully, working to uphold his commandments and to eschew His Prohibitions. Let us all wake up and make a sincere intention to go back to our individual family units and rebuild our homes in line with Allah’s injunctions on piety.

The Quran says: “Wal asr. Inna l insaana lafii khusrin. Illa ladheena amanuu wa amiluu salihat, watawasaw bil Haqq, watawasaw bis sabr” [the Time 103] ‘Meaning: ‘

By The Time. Certainly, man is in a state of loss. Except those who believe and do good works; and exhort one another to the Trith and exhort one another to Patience”

This message is a clarion call to the conscience of every adult male or female. The Muslim family must wake up and brace up to begin and sustain a home-based re-alignment to the Islamic tenets and assure a consistent and strategic turn-around towards the upholding of the Divine Commandments of Allah and His Apostle. It must not just read the Hoky Book and Sunnah but must act by it, obey its glowing guidance-prescriptions, follow its rules and regulations for a successful and happy family life. It must also not treat with levity the Divine Prohibitions and the forbidden matters as proclaimed by Allah’s Messenger saw. It must turn the hearts of the children and wards towards the dictates of practical Islam where the father and mother behave and act as good role-models through their leading aright. It is when they lead aright that the other members follow aright. Bad leadership beckons bad followership. Bad followership breeds bad progeny and breeds rascals into the society. Let us know without doubt that Allah Ta’ala will hold every Shepherd responsible for his flocks. The parents who are leaders in every home shall be held responsible for the steaying-off of the children or dependants and shall receive Allah’s Mercy if they are rightly-guuded, nurtured and tutored. Al-qiyaamah - The Resurrection is true. The Questioning is true. The Judgement is true. The Award of Reward and Punishment is true. A word is enough for the wise. May Allah Ta’ala take charge of our affairs and guide us all from His Wrath and from every error, surely He is the Best Disposer of the affairs of The Righteous.

Subhana Rabbika Rabbil izzati ama yasifuuna.

Wa salaamun alal Mursaleen,

Wal Hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Aalameen.

As Salaam alaykum wa Rahmatullah wa Barakatuhu.

#AL-KANZ LECTURE SERIES

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